The ultrasound went really well today. Both babies are measuring three days ahead and....they're both girls!!! I can't decide if I'm so happy because they are girls or just because I finally know. I can plan and decorate and think of names. It all seemed so distant and intangible before. Now it feels so real. I can't explain it. Ms O and I went shopping and she picked out two outfits for them. I picked up a couple of sleepers and receiving blankets, all pinks and purples.

We emptied out the guest room last weekend and picked up a couple of cribs this week. I don't know what possessed me but I suddenly had. to. have. cribs. now! There are far more practical things I should have been obsessing about (carseats for instance) but so goes this pregnancy. One minute I can't force myself to buy anything baby related and the next I'm dropping a few hundred dollars in one week.

This weekend is fabric shopping. I'm going to get enough for coordinated quilts and curtains for the room. I would also like some wall art (see what I mean, totally impractical). I don't know if this is some wierd sixth sense, preparing everything so early, but I can't stop myself. My next doctor's appointment is Feb. 18 and so help my bank account, I will have everything I need by then.

I'd better get off this computer, Mr M is on a ski trip for the weekend and Ms O is with granny for the night. I should be eating cheesy garlic fries and watching girly movies right now.

Edited to add pictures:

18 weeks today! This is really starting to move along for me now. The first 12 weeks went so slowly I was afraid the rest of this pregnancy would be the same. It helps that we are so busy at work right now that I'm putting in full days on the weekends as well as overtime during the week.

I am hoping going the extra mile now will grease my boss for when I suggest going down to four days a week after our Feb. 28 deadline. I don't think he will mind, everyone here has been really great. 

I felt the babies kick (from the outside) again last night. I was waiting in my van in the rec centre parking lot, killing time (napping) until Ms. O finished swimming when I felt those pokes again. I put my hand on my belly and sure enough one of the babies kicked hard enough to move my hand. I'm such a glutton for baby kicks now. I can't get enough! Unfortunately they seem to be few and far between. I'm hope in a month I'll be on the other side of the fence wondering when they are going to let me get some rest!

I'm having trouble telling them apart by their movements right now, Baby A (on the top bunk) seems a lot higher than last week and Baby B (bottom bunk) still seems really low still but most of the kicks and nudges I feel are right in the middle. I can tell who is who when they are rolling around but they seem to be pretty shy about letting me know who the kick culprit is. I guess the ultrasound on Friday will put their positions back into perspective for me.

Well, back to work for me...at least the extra money will come in handy when we start buying baby stuff (at this rate it won't be until the babies are born).

While I have felt plenty of kicks and rolls so far, I haven't been able to feel anything from the outside...until last night. I was sitting up in bed, doing a crossword puzzle, when I felt an unmistakable kick. As usual my hand flew right to the spot, not expecting to feel anything but checking anyway. I left it there for about 30 seconds when it happened, twice, about 15 seconds apart. Just little nudges against my palm, but enough for me to feel like this is finally happening. Wouldn't you know it, Mr. M was out of town for work last night? I thought about calling him but it was 10:30 and I knew he had probably fallen asleep right after I talked to him at 9:00. I called him as soon as I got in to the office this morning.

One week until my ultrasound, this is exactly what I needed for the final push.

Bullet Points are all I've got right now.
-I can't stop thinking about the earthquake in Haiti and how utterly impotent I feel. I guess giving money (what little I can) is all I can contribute for now.
-The rest of the stuff I was going to put in bullet points are all too superficial to list under the first one. New post required.

It seems there are two little people treating my insides like a bouncy castle these days. I still can't feel anything from the outside but it's a party on the inside...

I slipped and fell in the driveway this morning. Now I'm feeling every twinge and thinking each time that I hurt the babies when I fell. I know, they are floating around in sacs of fluid, it takes more than a simple fall to hurt them. I've resisted googling "falling while pregnant" so far. I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out.

I feel bad for Mr. M; he's been out in the driveway every morning shoveling and salting, trying to avoid this exact situation. Now a chinook has moved in, everything is melting so there are little slicks of ice in the morning that look like they are wet, not frozen. He feels so guilty but it's not like he hasn't been diligent. I tried to make it seem like it wasn't as bad but my skinned knee and arm kind of give it away. I feel bad because I've been bugging him about how he's been treating me like a baby since the IVF worked and it turns out he's probably saved me from my klutzy self more than once. Everything is fine. This is just a "have gone more than three weeks without an ultrasound" paranoia. Everything is fine.

***UPDATE*** Could not resist google, results were surprisingly comforting (for once). Called my doctor anyway, he said wait and see if anything changes (cramping spotting, etc.) and try not to worry.

16 weeks today. The terror has subsided and I feel like a normal pregnant person. Everyone at work knows. I avoided the big, awkward announcement because my boss asked if he could tell a few pertinent people for planning purposes when I was at 12 weeks. He told, news spread quickly, problem solved.

I'm not planning on going back to work after my year of maternity leave is up. Mr. M and I have talked about it and we should be fine on his income. Luckily we live in a city where, if I do decide to go back in a couple of years, it shouldn't be too hard to find a job. Especially in my discipline, with my experience. My boss has already asked me for first right of refusal if I do decide to start working again. I think twins and an eight year old will be work enough for me!

Speaking of the eight year old, Ms. O has been acting a little strange lately. She's regressed a bit. Where she has always been very independent she now asks for help. She's outright refused to clean her room for two months straight, just sitting in her room whining each time I asked her to clean up. She has been sassy and argumentative. I was complaining to my friend about it (along the "I don't have the patience for this right now" vein) and she suggested it might have something to do with the impending arrival of the twins. At first I was all "no way, she's so excited!" but then I thought of my own conflicted emotions about all of this.

Although I am so excited, beyond anything I could ever have imagined, I still wonder if we really did the right thing. Mr. M and I could have been home free in ten years with Ms. O out of the house. Cabin in the woods, Airstream Trailer, travelling North and South America on our own; all on hold for another 18 years. Now if I think of those things, after the pain and money and stress to achieve this pregnancy, how could I have expected Ms. O to only be of one mind? Sure she's excited but I have to allow her the opportunity to be conflicted as well.

This realization has increased my patience tenfold and it's already making a difference. I cleaned out her room and told her if she could keep it clean for one month, we would redecorate her room (she wants a "dragonfly" room, whatever that means). It's been one week and so far, so good.

In baby news, I had another ultrasound at 13w, everything looks great. The babies are stacked (like they are in bunk beds). That will probably change as they get bigger but it was cute. Baby A was kicking Baby B in the head. It's funny because on each ultrasound Baby A has been so active and Baby B has been the mellow one. I hope it's somewhat indicative of their personalities, I don't think I could handle two more showboats. They both measure the same, with the same heartbeats.

My next ultrasound is January 29. We are hoping to find out genders at that one. I am getting really impatient. I've been knitting for both boy and girl. I'm planning on a few each of boy themed and girl themed quilts. If I can't use them, I can always give them away as gifts. We definitely know enough people having babies these days!

Mr. M and I are not in agreement as to which room to use as the baby room so nothing has been accomplished on that front. He wants to use the room attached to our bedroom, which is technically a nursery but currently my sewing room. I think it's silly to start them there as we would have to move them in a year to the guest room anyway due to space constraints. Mr. M is planning on finishing the basement before they arrive so I don't see why we need to keep a guest room upstairs when we will have one downstairs. I'm just waiting for this one to work itself out. They'll be in our room for the first few months anyway, no point in worrying about it now.

I finally purchased baby items. It was one hurdle I couldn't get over so I finally went to Se.ars and bought some onesie undershirts and some receiving blankets. I've made a list of necessities I would like to have by March 1. Anything else we'll just buy after they arrive (and all of the gifts have come in!).

That's all for now. No news is good news these days.