A sense of calm and inevitability has settled over me. I can finally accept that while pregnancy has eluded me I no longer feel it has to happen on my terms. I know it will happen; it’s just a matter of patience. Patient is not a word that describes me at all but I’m beginning to feel like someone out there is telling me it’s something I need to work on.
It’s been a long month. Friends of ours that sparked our TTC journey when they became pregnant with their first child are now pregnant with their second. This friend is incredible. While I don’t discuss the emotional ramifications the last two years have had on me, I think she knows it’s been hard. She said “I wish it was you” when she told me she was pregnant.
The Clomid has made me an emotional wreck, but less physical symptoms this time around. I’m pretty sure I felt myself ovulate on Wednesday. Either that or my ovaries were over stimulated and ruptured because there was surely something going on down there. The timing should be just right as well as Mr. M and I have BD’d every day for the last week, including Wednesday morning.
The weather has been teasing us, giving us a nice warm day, all the snow begins to melt and then you wake up one morning and there is two more feet of it. Everyone seems to be affected by it; there is no escaping the feeling of despair emanating from everyone in this city.
Take heart fellow Calgarians, I am now using my amazingly strong will to bring spring. It is time for everyone around me to perk up - look alive! I am back to my old self and now require the rest of you to follow suit.
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